Friday, July 15, 2005

Life in "The Rock"

Who knew such deep philosophical differences could present in the form of duck management? Do we take an organic approach and patiently encourage ducks to make our pond a home, or do we take a mechanistic approach and force ducks to live among us despite the many reasons why they might not choose our pond as their home (ummm, predators like coyote, perhaps?)

The answer lies in these hard-to-believe (but true!) excerpts from neighborhood e-mails:

4/27/05
Subject: DUCKS!!

Hello All,

The first 5 ducks will be placed in the pond this Friday, April 29th. For those of you who are interested, it is fine to go watch this, but please follow these recommendations from the duck lady.

Don't run at the ducks or crowd them - give them a chance to get settled and find their way around their new surroundings. Let them get used to being the center of attention!

You can feed the ducks, however, bread is not the recommended food of choice. She recommends dog food. It is high in protein and good for their diet. Too much bread can cause them to gain excess weight, which is bad for their hearts, and can shorten their life span, or worse, they can even drown.

For those of you worried about fishing lines, fishing will be allowed on a restricted basis - 12 and under on weekends only, and all fish to be let go. For those of you fishing, pick your spot with care with respect to the ducks. However, please refrain from fishing until all pond work is completed.

Details of all HOA improvements, including pond work, will be outlined in the upcoming newsletter.

Thanks & regards,
Siobhan Scott.

Such excitement surrounding these ducks! I think I need even more detailed instructions on care and feeding of the ducks -- can you give me more?

4/29/05
Subject: The New Ducks


Hello Everyone,

Well, the new ducks arrived safely from Buda today in the capable hands of Leigh Ann, Dudley and Zach Thomas who transported them here in a box in the back of their Suburban.

Upon being released at the water's edge, 4 of them got straight into the water, while the 5th ran for cover in the trees. The existing duck was certainly very curious, but swam at a distance from the others, then went to have a look at the shy one.

At first, they need to be checked on several times a day, to make sure they don't wander away. So if you're passing by, stop and have a look, and if you need to, herd them back towards the lake.

With respect to food, what follows is taken directly from the duck farmer's instructions. FYI - I tried dog food today, but it is too hard for them to swallow - I threw it into the lake where it will soften up, and they might eat it then.

Food - Both ducks and geese naturally eat lots of grass, weeds and vegetation. As a matter of fact, geese are almost pure vegetarians. Ducks will include a lot more insects in their diet. Feeding them once a day, at the same time (or as close as possible), near an area that you want them to call "home", will help cement the relationship of home to the birds, and they will have no urge to wander. Do not feed more than they can eat because it will attract other unwanted birds or animals. If you see them leaving food, next time give them less. They need extra food in the winter because there is less vegetation.

What you CAN feed them - Deer corn, duck and goose pellets available from feed stores, and bread, tortilla or cracker products that do not have a lot of sugar or salt in/on them. If you feed them something that they have never had before, it may take them a day or two before they eat it. Most uncooked fruit and vegetable scraps, as long as they are not moldy or rancid, are a delight to them. Watermelon rind, chopped up into small pieces, make them very happy.

What you CANNOT feed them - Any medicated bird food, such as chicken feed, anything that has mold or has gone rotten (waterfowl can get botulism just like people), anything with high amounts of fat, oil, sugar, salt or other "man made" food additives.

So, take care of our ducks, keep them safe and hopefully they will stay around for a good, long while.

If you have any questions, or need additional information, please call Leigh Ann at 238 8170 or contact her by e-mail at lathomas@austin.rr.com.

Thanks & regards,
Siobhan Scott.

And now, the conclusion of our story (didja see the foreboding line at the end of the last e-mail? It's excellent foreshadowing):

5/12/05
Subject: Missing Duck


Hello Everyone,

I have been asked to forward this to the community.

Apparently one of our new ducks is missing. Because of the lack of feathers on the ground, which would possibly indicate another animal as the culprit, it is suspected that this duck may have been stolen [OK, who would seriously steal a duck??]. Also, there were some food wrappings nearby, pointing towards the probability that people were involved [isn't this reminiscent of the basement scene in Pee Wee's Big Adventure?].

If anyone has any information regarding the missing duck, please call Leigh Ann Thomas at 238 8170 as soon as possible. According to Round Rock police, it is a crime to torment, harass, hurt or steal the ducks.

A reward of $50 is offered for any valid information regarding the missing duck.

Thanks & regards,
Siobhan Scott.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Douchebag of the Year

Tom Cruise continues to be the leading contender for 2005's Douchebag of the Year Award.

Want more evidence?

In addition to freekatie.net


please enjoy Tom Cruise Kills Oprah